


In Another Time

by alixiecivet



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Pearlapis, lapearl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alixiecivet/pseuds/alixiecivet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the holiday season and life has been non-stop busy for the Crystal Gems. Pearl has spent the morning trying to get breakfast going, but her world is thrown a little out of wack when Lapis decides to have a candid chat with her at the table. Some very confusing, and probably slightly overwhelming, issues are brought up, but with 6 gems now taking up residence in the temple, along with Connie (who's staying over for the weekend), it's hard to find the time to talk about the more serious things in life. This was for 2015's SU Secret Santa on tumblr, for user knight-tears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a little after 7 am. Pearl had emerged from her room after some early sword practice. She hadn’t had much alone time the past few weeks. Everything after Thanksgiving had become a blur of Steven activities involving the whole family. Games, outings, Greg and Connie constantly over, even some humans from town crowding up the beach house. Not that Pearl minded. Too much. Pearl wasn’t particularly adept at socializing on the level that others seemed to be so good at. Pearl liked to either listen, or take up the conversation entirely. She couldn’t help it. She’d hold on to whatever actually interested her and, perhaps in hopes this would keep the other party engaged, overview that subject with every bit of fact she had. She really only found herself tangled up in these things on account of Steven. For Steven. His smiling, his happiness, well, that was her happiness. The earth festivities were tiring. Being around all those humans was tiring. Being around the other gems was tiring. But overall, the warm feeling she ended up with was worth it.

The so-called “Christmas” holiday was just a few days away. She’d promised Steven a waffle breakfast this morning, since Connie had spent the night. The Maheswaran’s allowing her to stay over was definitely a surprise. Pearl had been ecstatic. Of course, after everything the two families had gone through, after everything Beach City had gone through, after everything the _world_ had been through, they had to let up at some point. It would be ridiculous not to.

“Steven? Connie?” Pearl headed toward the kitchen, surveying the empty beach house loft.

It was dead silent.

They were probably still asleep. Or perhaps they had gone out to the beach to play in the snow? Where were the other gems? She hadn’t seen or heard from any of them in a while, now that she thought of it.

Pearl sighed.

“Well I suppose I could get started,” she reached for the cabinet beside the microwave, “I’m sure those other three will probably want something as- WHHHHAAA!”

Pearl had opened the cabinet to find a tiny green gem huddled in the corner between two cereal boxes and waffle/pancake mix.

“What are you doing in there?” Pearl was more puzzled than angry.

“Shut up!” Peridot hissed, “I’m hiding!”

“Clearly.” Pearl narrowed her eyes.

“What did I say!” Peridot’s whisper almost cracked in volume, but then she held her hand over her mouth, “we’re playing that hiding game.”

“’We’ involves Steven and Connie, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah, yeah. Amethyst and Lazuli, too. Now go away! I want to win!”

“Ugh, well, can you hand me the waffle mix?”

Peridot looked wildly around in the cabinet, frowning,

“Which one?”

“That one.” Pearl pointed.

“…this one?” It was a box of Cookie Cat Crunch.

“Peridot, stop acting like you don’t know how to read. THAT one. With the word WAFFLES witten clearly on the front.” Pearl should know. She taught her.

Peridot rolled her eyes and shoved the box in Pearl’s face.

“Here…” Peridot pulled her knees up to her chest and lowered her head, “you know, this game is… probably one of the most terrifying earth activities I’ve ever experienced.”

Pearl took the box and gestured knowingly with her free hand.

“It’s called suspense.” She shut the cabinet door on a wide-eyed Peridot.

Sometimes Pearl felt like everyone’s mother.

But wasn’t she, in all honesty, just that? Save for Garnet. Thank her stars there was Garnet.

“Ok,” Pearl took the other ingredients from the fridge, and was midway retrieving a bottle of milk and a carton of eggs, “this should be ready by the end of-”

A blur rushed through the living room, and someone ran into and nearly knocked her over. It was Steven.

“Pearl! I’m sorry!” He’d fallen, and then quickly got up and ran to hide in the closet under the stairs. Connie came after, stifling giggles.

“Hurry up!” Steven grabbed Connie’s arm and pulled her in.

Pearl had only just gathered herself when Lapis and Amethyst came bounding into the loft. Pearl couldn’t tell if Lapis was laughing or crying.

An over-sized purple German Shephard was snapping at her heels. Lapis had jumped over the kitchen island and Amethyst almost had her, but water wings emerged and Lapis ascended and slammed into the cabinet.

“HEY! NO FLYING!”

Lapis was definitely laughing. Almost hysterically.

Amethyst quickly shapeshifted into… a pterodactyl.

Well…

The prehistoric mess charged at Lapis, who moved away before Amethyst crashed against the microwave.

The house shook just enough for the cabinet doors to fly open.

Peridot didn’t have to, but she screamed.

Amethyst immediately diverted her attention to the green gem.

“Ohhhh this is cake!” she sang with delight.

“What cake???” Peridot screeched as she tumbled out of the cabinet, scrambling to her feet and running.

Amethyst laughed.

“I think you’re the cake.” Lapis was flying in circles over them, looking confidently safe.

“Lazuli you help me this instant!” Peridot had squeezed under the coffee table, but Amethyst overturned it with her enormous wings.

Maniacal laughter.

“Hmm….” Lapis seemed to seriously consider the request, “no.”

“LAZULI OH MY STARS AMETHEYST NO AMETHYST STOOOOOOOP! STEVEN, CONNIE, PEARL, SOMEONE PLEASE.”

One might think the gem was being murdered.

Pearl still stood in the kitchen, eggs and milk clutched against her chest, not entirely sure if it was better to stay still or move.

Steven and Connie emerged from the closet, and tried making a run for it, but Amethyst caught sight of them,

“Aww come on guys, you made this too easy.” Amethyst charged in their direction.

They were running past Pearl. Amethyst shot straight for her.

Impact was certain.

_Why. Why now. Here. In the kitchen. This early. Why._

Pearl winced in anticipation of impact, but then she was snatched into the air, and suddenly she was looking down at the chaos in the loft high up from the ceiling.

Lapis giggled into her back. She was clutching her from her midsection, wings flapping quietly.

Pearl still held tightly to the food from the fridge.

“Oh! Are you making breakfast?” Lapis smiled.

Pearl blushed. Hard.

She’d never been this close to the water gem before.

And definitely not like this.

“…uh, eventually. That’s the plan, ahhaha… er.”

“Sorry about our game.”

Pearl looked down at everyone with a half-hearted scowl.

“Ugh… look at them.”

Pearl meant, specifically, Peridot and Amethyst. Furniture was knocked over and items flung off the shelves. Peridot was running into everything, frantically trying to avoid being caught by the cackling dinosaur. Those two were so incomprehensibly destructive that Pearl had given up long ago attempting to correct the problem.

“It’s kind of sweet.” Lapis wistfully muttered.

“…oh, Lapis, if that’s your idea of sweet… I hope it isn’t.”

Lapis slightly lost grip on Pearl, but then regained it and squeezed her. The other gasped.

“No. My idea of sweet is a waffle covered in maple syrup. And ice cream… and what are those things? Sprinkles.”

“I’m not serving you ice cream with your waffles.”

Lapis sighed, “I know. We don’t even have ice cream. I ate it all.”

“hrmm.” Pearl mumbled.

Lapis was… strange.

She had come a long way in the past two years.

Lapis had been angry. And when that had subsided, she stayed distrusting. The Crystal Gems had, after all, been her original captors. And even though it hadn’t specifically been Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, it was difficult for Lapis to differentiate them from the gems of wartime. For all Lapis could comprehend, the war was still happening. She’d been frozen in time.

It had taken weeks of history lessons to bring Lapis to an understanding of the present time. It must have been overwhelming for her.

Pearl had always felt a sense of guilt about the whole thing.

_… thousands of years… alone. A prisoner._

_And I was there talking to you all that time._

_Well, at you._

Pearl had never decided on how to apologize.

“I think it’s over. Do you want me to put you down?” Lapis hummed.

The ruckus below had quieted. Connie, the only other one still not tagged, had grabbed Peridot and run outside. The other two had rushed after.

Pearl laughed a little.

“Do you really have to ask?”

Pearl felt Lapis shrug, and they descended into the kitchen.

She couldn’t keep avoiding Lapis forever. Or, she could. But she didn’t want to.

“Thank you.” Pearl nodded up at Lapis, who was elevated just a few inches higher than Pearl.

The water gem nodded as well.

Pearl waited for her to leave. But she stayed staring.

“Uh, ahaha, aren’t you going outside?” Pearl waved a thumb toward the door.

Lapis, as if being interrupted from thoughts having nothing to do with what was currently happening, blinked and looked toward the door, then back at Pearl.

“They’re probably done,” the blue wings faded into her gem, and she touched the floor, toes first, “Can I watch you make breakfast?”

This was unexpected. Lapis stayed clear of Pearl just as much as Pearl stayed clear of Lapis. Not in any hostile way. They were simply awkward around each other. Maybe if they were alone more often it would be easier. Pearl felt like blurting apologies right then, and it took a great effort to hold them in.

“Really? Sure!” Pearl smiled. What else could she do? She summoned a pink apron from her gem and tied it around her waist.

Lapis had already seated herself and placed her hands over the counter in front of her. She looked around the kitchen as if seeing it for the first time.

“So… food.” Lapis started audibly and ended as if she had changed her mind.

Pearl’s lip quivered. She dropped scrambled egg over the heated skillet in front of her, and she was grateful to be facing away from the other.

“That is certainly something that happens here. You want to help?”

“Hm? No.”

Pearl wasn’t sure how to handle any of this. Something about Lapis made her feel as if the invisible string through her spine had been removed. Suddenly all her precise maneuvers were just clumsy grasps. What was Lapis trying to do here, anyway?

“Suit yourself.”

Pearl had gotten through waffle number 3, placing them in the oven to keep warm until the others came back. She had put together a plate for Lapis, fork sticking up in a perfect cat-head shaped waffle with a dollop of whipped butter.

“Ooooooh. Thank you, Pearl.” Lapis accepted the plate from Pearl’s hands, her eyes wide. She took a butter knife and patted at the little yellow medallion. The water gem seemed to find this especially amusing. Pearl smiled. So far this wasn’t so bad.

Pearl placed the maple syrup beside her. She didn’t offer her any eggs or bacon. Lapis was almost exclusive to waffles, pastries, ice cream and fruit. She was a casual eater with an insufferable sweet tooth.

Lapis, mouth half full of waffle, tried speaking, then changed her mind, finished chewing, and then spoke, “Are you afraid of me?”

Pearl winced and stepped back a little.

Her gestures were an avalanche of betrayal when she tried to say _no_. Not much came out.

Lapis looked down at her plate.

“I was so angry at everyone. I want to say I was angry at you, but… that would be a lie.”

Pearl’s expression softened. She stared at Lapis for a few moments, then, very cautiously, sat across from her at the kitchen island.

Lapis continued,“You really didn’t know. You were so close to her, but you didn’t know.”

 _Her_ immediately registered to Pearl as to mean _Rose_. Pearl knew they had to hurt many gems, destroy many gems, in the battle for earth’s independence. Pearl knew who the prisoners were. Rose made sure Pearl knew about each of them, and why they were being preserved. But Rose had never told her about Lapis Lazuli.

All Rose had done was give Pearl the mirror.

“Keep it safe.”

That was all.

So Pearl had stored the mirror in her gem, referring to it often enough. Not in the past few decades. But again, often enough.

Especially when Pearl was lonely for home.

Pearl looked up, timidly, “If I had known I would have never left you in there so long. I would have let you free.”

And when Pearl felt lonely with Rose.

The water gem, the more Pearl thought of it, had been a kind of comfort.

“I didn’t believe in the war. I didn’t believe in… this,” Lapis, still quietly eating her waffle, motioned to everything around her, “I only fought when I had to. I don’t believe in fighting. It’s why I hated the Crystal Gems even more. You had- they had, _She_ had- started another war.”

That was true. Homeworld had been enjoying a time of relative peace before Rose’s rebellion. It seemed to throw everything upside down and backwards. Too many steps backward when it seemed they had been making progress. There were many reasons to join Rose, and many reasons not to. A majority of the civilians involved had only a surface understanding of what was happening. Those who had identified as neutral were suddenly forced into taking sides.

“I’m so sorry.” Pearl was surprised by how sincerely she meant it.

Lapis looked up, her expression almost melancholic.

“I wanted you to be sorry. I wanted someone to blame. But when I go out of there, and I went back to homeworld, what I was angry about didn’t matter anymore. You know the rest.” Lapis was referring to Malachite, of course. When she was finally free, she had fled. But because of Steven, she ended up back where she had started. But for reasons entirely different.

And she was free.

Pearl just continued to listen, captivated at this sudden glimpse into the other’s heart. Why wouldn’t Lapis talk to her before? Or anyone? It sounded like this was the first time she was disclosing any of this.

“…it’s too bad you don’t eat. You make really great waffles.” Lapis muttered this down at her plate.

Pearl furrowed her brow. The symmetry of her thoughts split in too many directions. Lapis Lazuli was given to her for safekeeping. Why? And why so casually? As if Rose had known this was something she had to do… but almost didn’t want to do. Why didn’t she just explain it to Pearl?

Maybe Pearl would not have listened.

Why was everything that meant something to her tangled up in some memory of Rose? Was everything that made Pearl matter, up until a few years ago, out of thousands of years of living, all something having to do with Rose? For the first time, Pearl felt angry. Most of her life had been a life for someone else. Not that Pearl didn’t believe in earth. Or in what Rose had spent all her years trying to understand, which, was _love_ ; Pearl hardly made any decision that wasn’t because of Rose. What about all those other gems? Like Lapis? Pearl was not angry at Rose. She was angry at herself.

“Lapis, I-”

“P MADE WAFFLES!” Amethyst kicked in the door, barreling toward the counter and plopping down next to Pearl. 

Steven and Connie followed close after, the two of them sitting on either side of Lapis.

Garnet was the last to swing through the door, a tiny green gem nestled atop her enormous hair.

“I can’t get her to leave.” Garnet, in her monotone voice, announced. She sat beside Amethyst, who wasted no time teasing the other.

“Get down here and have waffles with me nerd!”

“NO!” Peridot sunk further back into Garnet’s hair. Her own hair was ruffled and quite the mess.

Steven made a very concerned expression. Connie was holding back a grin, but was more interested in the indulgent breakfast in front of her. This was not something on the Maheswaran daily menu.

Pearl couldn’t help getting sucked into the distraction.

“What did you do?” She frowned at Amethyst, but still put in front of the purple gem a very impressive plate.

“Aw,” Amethyst paused to stuff a handful of bacon in her mouth, “She was the last one and I ended up biting her as-” Garnet looked down at her and tipped her visor, glaring; “-uh, her butt.”

“SHE’S LYING! THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!” Peridot grabbed at Garnet’s hair. Her host grunted.

Connie, fork midway to her mouth, paused, and with a rather somber, apologetic look, shook her head slowly at Peridot.

Peridot looked to Steven for back-up.

But she wasn’t going to find corroboration from someone incapable of lying.

“Well…” he tried.

Garnet turned to Pearl, “It was one of the more satisfying things I’ve seen Amethyst do.”

Peridot narrowed her eyes and growled. But still wouldn’t leave Garnet’s hair.

Pearl shook her head, “No one is allowed to play tag anymore.”

“But Pearl,” Steven almost jumped up, “we’re sorry!”

“…oh Steven, just not in the house. Do you want eggs?”

“Oh, ok. I can live with that. And yes please!” He held out his plate.

“Peridot, do you want anything?” Pearl couldn’t help but smirk.

The distress in Peridot’s features said many things.

“You aren’t eating up there.” Garnet picked up the newspaper, leafing through the first few pages.

“Hrrrrrrm,” Peridot growled, “No. I don’t.”

Pearl only felt a little bad. But If Peridot didn’t make such a fuss Amethyst wouldn’t keep teasing her. Even though that was generally the dynamic of their… both adorable and obnoxious relationship.

Amethyst couldn’t contain herself any longer and burst into snorting laughter,

“You should have seen her face, P! I want a picture of that to toss in my junkpile, HAHAHA.”

Pearl caught gaze with Lapis. The momentum of their moment had completely died. Pearl didn’t do well with spontaneous. She was terrible at spontaneous. She was already uncomfortable with Lapis. Those few paragraphs she’d gotten out of her had complicated things considerably.

“I’ll save you some, Dot.” Steven gave Peridot a sympathetic smile. The green gem wasn’t having it. 

“All of you are annoying and I hate you.”

General chatter continued at the counter. At some point Lion showed up and Pearl had to shove him from trying to sit on the counter. There was more of Peridot shrieking as Amethyst tried grabbing at her feet (“ESCANDALOSA!” Amethyst shouted), and then Garnet ended it by finally grabbing Peridot and holding her over her head “Although I’d very much like to see her get bit, please, don’t. I may have lost my hearing.” Amethyst nodded. But as soon as Peridot touched the floor she was attacked by the other. Steven and Connie had wandered over to the living room floor and were reading comics. Steven had taken Lapis’s hand and pulled her over. He’d been staring at her and Pearl during breakfast. As usual, he sensed something was wrong.

“Connie brought some new comics.”

Lapis smiled at him.

“Yeah! I found this one especially for you: Arctic Siren. It’s about this geologist who gets mermaid-like abilities after an explosion at a secret government nuclear facility where she works, and…”

Pearl watched as Lapis sat down on the carpet with them, genuine intrigue gleaming in her eyes as Connie flipped through the pages with her and Steven. Steven caught sight a Pearl and gave her that smile. That smile that often meant _I’m going to figure this out and make it better._

Pearl both loved and dreaded that smile.


	2. In Another Time part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast brought about some surprising words from a gem Pearl hadn't really known too much about -despite the fact that they have been living together. Everyone piles in Greg's van to go ice skating just outside of town, and there Pearl has just enough time with Lapis to experience something that will definitely change her world forever.

“Pearl.”

_Why tell me any of this now? I suppose we eventually had to talk. But it’s been years. Can I even do it? I never thought about it, but she must… really… know… a lot… about me oh no she was listening to me all that time oh- OH._

“Pearl.”

_Ok, I can’t panic. Panic? Not even panic. This is just very mild anxiety. Yes. Not even that. Just a slight concern. I mean, what could she have made out of any of my nonsense, because a lot of the time it was nonsense. I wonder if she knew Rose- the way she talked about her earlier. Maybe not._

“ _Pearl.”_

_But Rose never said anything about Lapis. Never. Just gave me the mirror, said nothing. Just like that. Why? I mean, I lost the mirror, even. But I never told Rose I had lost it at the Galaxy Warp. She must have thought I’d kept the mirror safe all that time._

“PEARL.”

_I never knew Lapis was there… but Lapis knew me._

“Seriously? Oh come on, PEARL!!!”

Amethyst finally kicked her in the rear.

“Ame-Amethyst!” Pearl twirled around to elbow her offender.

“Hey,” Amethyst put up her hands, mildly annoyed, “you’ve been in space for like, five minutes.”

“Yeah Pearl, are you alright?” 

Pearl looked down into Connie’s concerned eyes, then over at Steven’s. Garnet was also staring, as well as Lapis. Peridot was standing at the door, wrapped in snow jacket and scarf up to her nose. She wasn’t interested. She just looked miserable.

Pearl blushed, staring at Lapis, and to her horror was not able to turn away.

Amethyst looked suspiciously between the two of them, narrowing her eyes. 

“WELL _ANYWAY_ we were going-”

“-to go ice skating.” Steven interrupted, voice at an abnormally high pitch.

“Are we leaving now?” Peridot whined.

“I’m still a little confused. Are there even any lakes around here?” Connie picked up her skates, and slipped on some mittens.

“No problem. Right Garnet?” Steven turned to the fusion gem.

Garnet shrugged.

“Steven knows what he’s doing.”

“UGH, I’m going outside! These thermal regulating layers are becoming unbearable.” Peridot pushed into the door out to the deck.

“You’ll be yakking about how cold it is in a few minutes,” Amethyst hollered; she turned to Pearl, “Really though, are you ok?”

Pearl only nodded. Lapis had fluttered out the door with everyone else. Amethyst put up her palm.

“Just let us know when you phone home again.”

She walked away.

Steven had gone out, but rushed back in when Amethyst had gone. Pearl sighed. She tapped her gem and found herself in appropriate enough winter attire. She opted for something not unlike her spacesuit, with a stylish dark blue jacket and high collar.

“How’s this?” She looked down at herself, then at Steven.

Steven paused, looking a little surprised. He half smiled for a moment, and then it turned into a real one.

“Winter enough for a skate.”

“Good. Want a ride?” Pearl hadn’t had much time with Steven lately, she realized. That’s what she needed. Her Steven.

He was a definitely too old for a piggy back. And taller than he’d been two years ago. It was a joke. Although deep down she wanted to hear a yes. Silly.

Steven smiled again and took her hand.

“How about this?”

Pearl’s already wobbly heart melted. She was for once able to hold in her elation, and simply squeezed his hand.

“Perfect.”

_Some moments, I realize just how much I love you, and how much I know you love me back._

_What a wonderful thing. Love._

Steven led the way.

“My dad’s taking us”

Pearl could see the others far off at the North end of the beach.

Steven caught Pearl squinting.

“He would have parked closer. But the snow on the beach isn’t so great for the van… um, Pearl?”

“Hm?” Pearl was, in particular, eyeing Lapis, who hovered around the others, making slow circles around them in that restless way of hers. She kept wondering what Lapis really thought of her. Now that Pearl realized Lapis had experienced a lot more of Pearl than Pearl would like to comprehend.

“Are you and Lapis talking?”

The question sounded strange to her. It took a few moments to string the words together as they were meant. She still couldn’t avoid her own question.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t we?”

“I mean, _talking._ ”

Pearl wished he’d be more direct. Even though she knew what he meant.

She looked down at their steps over the beach, “Is there something you know that I don’t? Because if there is, I’d really like to know.”

“To be honest, I’m not sure.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.” She looked up again, worry in her eyes.

Steven looked apologetic.

“Well, I know you guys are fine with each other, but I’m not sure which of you avoids the other, or if it’s both of you, but you guys talk to everyone else… but each other. And, well…” Steven sounded as if maybe he was regretting something that hadn’t happened yet. Pearl definitely knew that tone.

_It troubles me how easy it is to get information from you._

“Um,” Steven absent mindedly swung their held hands, “Lapis asks about you sometimes. Like, about what you were doing after the war. And you and mom. And just stuff about you. She listens to every word I say. Like she really wants to know. And sometimes she looks sad. Actually, she always looks sad when she asks about you. Like she knew you. But I know she didn’t. You don’t ask about her. But I’m just wondering… well, why.”

Pearl had focused on their hands as she spoke.

_Sad?_

Why would she be sad.

“How long have the two of you talked like this?” Pearl frowned. Not in annoyance.

Steven looked ahead.

“Well, ever since she started living with us. Not a lot. But enough.”

“I couldn’t tell you why,” they were almost caught up with the others, “But I never realized she had much interest in me. Since we’re being honest, I’m probably the one who avoids her the most. I feel terrible about the mirror. Really, really terrible. Really terrible.” As Pearl spoke, it hit harder than earlier. She almost got teary with guilt. It felt like everything had been her fault. Though it absolutely hadn’t been. If anything, Rose was at fault. Pearl couldn’t think of any good reason to not tell her about Lapis Lazuli.

The two gems looked at each other, both feeling a little hopeless. Though one was definitely more optimistic than the other.

“Woah, I didn’t think you guys were going to make it.” Greg looked out from the driver’s side, laughing a little.

“Yeah, hurry up.” All Pearl saw was Amethyst’s arm wave out from the back window.

Garnet looked out from the passenger’s side,” Really though, while the sun’s still out.”

“Ok! Coming.” Steven squeezed Pearl’s hand and they trotted up to the van. He looked back at her before they stepped inside, and before briefly looking up at Lapis, who was sitting serenely on top of the van, “Whatever it is, it’ll be fine. It always is.”

Pearl offered a half smile. She couldn’t quite conjure a complete one.

“Ok. This is it!” Greg stopped the van after turning into a small side road off the interstate. They were maybe 30 minutes from Beach City.

They walked down a path that lead out to a lake. Not a very large one, but enough for the eight of them. 

Steven and Connie raced out to the ice first, followed by Garnet, and a very cautious Greg. Amethyst was trying very hard not to grab Peridot and throw her onto the ice, and was being instead impressively patient, holding her hand and trying to convince Peridot she wouldn’t die her first time out on the lake. Lapis toed over the ice from the air, feeling very uncomfortable having to wear something over her feet. Pearl eyed her, testing out the blades. It didn’t take her much time to glide over the ice, and look confident in her movements.

“Uh, I haven’t done this in a long time. Gee, I don’t remember it being… this slippery.” Greg was able to hold up, but looked fumbly when he made turns or tried to go any faster than he was.

“It’s ice.” Garnet skated slowly past him.

Greg continued to look worried. But Steven came up beside him and encouraged his father.

“You taught me. You’re doing great. You just need to get a feel for it. Right Connie?”

Connie was doing circles and little spins.

“Yeah! You’ll have fun, Mr.Universe!” She came up beside him and grabbed his arm. He looked alarmed when she pulled him out further onto the ice and got him to do circles with her. Steven followed after, and Pearl listened to the unsure chuckling turn into hearty laughter.

Garnet was far out on the ice, speed skating with Lapis. Pearl looked over at her two short family members, one looking completely terrified and the other trying hard not to laugh.

“Just let me go back. I’m perfectly fine watching you… from that, uh, rock.” Peridot didn’t even sound angry. She was desperate to get off the ice. Amethyst ignored her, and let go of one of her hands.

“You know what we’re gonna do?” Amethyst smirked.

Pearl watched Peridot look hopeful.

“Take me back home?”

“No. We’re gonna skate. Right… now.” Amethyst sped off on the ice with Peridot’s hand. There was a long, drawled out, very pathetic sounding _noooooo_ that faded the further they went out. Pearl was taking her time, going mindlessly around the lake. When she saw Amethyst and Peridot again, Peridot was actually smiling, grinning, Amethyst still holding her hand. 

“How is this both terrifying and, I hate to say it, _fun_?” 

“Isn’t everything good about earth that way? Come on nerd. You must have caught on by now.” Amethyst took the opportunity to toss her partner across the ice, then make it to the other end to catch her. Again their voices faded.

“OK NOT THAT. THAT WAS NOT- AMETHYST STOP!!!”

Laughter.

There was a lot of that.

Smiles.

Pearl skated over the ice and watched everyone from a close enough distance to observe, but far enough that she couldn’t really hear what anyone said. She lacked company, but it was kind of nice. She enjoyed the ice. It was a little like flying. Or what she imagined flying felt like. It was one of those things she felt completely confident in doing. Another kind of dance.

She closed her eyes, opening her arms, and then doing a casual spin. She smiled. Then it faded, and her eyes opened.

_Sad, huh?_

Pearl skimmed over the thought, focusing on Steven and Connie, then over at Amethyst and Peridot, then at Garnet… all of them, had each other. Even Greg, though she was now gone, had Rose. Pearl wondered what it was like. To have someonesee her dear enough to want her closer, the closest, like a pair made to never split. She always wanted that. Between her and Rose. Not that Rose didn’t love her, love her in fact dearly. But in the end, it wasn’t Pearl who completed her. Someone else had been in Rose’s stars. Even if it had taken thousands of years for them to find each other, to be in that perfect time, together. Pearl had taken years to learn that she could never have changed Rose’s mind. She could never make Rose love her like she wanted to be loved.

Pearl glanced over at Steven.

_But I’m so glad things turned out this way._

Steven was the best thing, thus far in her existence, that had ever happened in her life.

She stared down at her movements over the lake, looking maybe for a reflection.

It was ok. She had finally learned how to be alone, and take care of herself.

But still. She couldn’t help feeling a little bad. She was literally surrounded by perfect relationships.

_But what are you sad about?_

She thought about Lapis. She asked herself the question in context outside of her thoughts concerning love. She was worried. Pearl had possibly overlooked the beginning of the answer. Maybe she didn’t like to think about Lapis because there was something there she didn’t want to know. It wasn’t just the guilt about the prisoner in the mirror; there was something else. Something a little ghostly.

Pearl closed her eyes again.

_Do I know something that I’m not telling myself?_

“Can I join you?”

It was her.

Sounding so restrained.

Pearl opened her eyes and looked to either side. Lapis caught up on her left.

Pearl was full of half smiles today.

That was a good enough answer for the water gem.

They skated parallel for a few moments, and then Lapis startled her when she grasped Pearl’s hand.

Lapis said nothing, but did glance up at Pearl with a look the taller gem had never seen.

It was somber, but warm. A look that would be shared between two gems who had known each other for a long time, who knew each other in too many ways to count. Maybe it was familiar.

It was also... a little sad.

Probably what Steven had been talking about.

Lapis let go and the ice carried her backward. She dipped and spun. She was pretty much in something like her usual dress, but her collar hugged her neck, and she had long sleeves. She wore shimmering black tights that gleamed with each spin, the folds of her dress making her look like, to Pearl, a blooming wildflower. The water gem glided back to Pearl and took her hand again, pulling Pearl into another gentle spin. Pearl caught on immediately.

Lapis Lazuli wanted to dance.

Pearl took both her hands and they made circles, spins, coils. Pearl held her close then let her go, and they made their way back to each other, over and over, palms against each other, barely touching. Then Pearl finally took both her hands again, then almost lost the moment entirely when Lapis, for maybe a second, rested her head against Pearl. The smaller gem then held on just to one hand and had Pearl spin her around her, then dip under the arch of her outstretched arm as she rolled to Pearls other arm, to her other hand.

Pearl wasn’t sure how long any of it lasted. It was surreal. But it felt… familiar. So familiar. More familiar than anything had ever felt familiar. It felt like the longer she shared the ice with Lapis, this dance, she was becoming someone else, in another time.

At some point, the dance ended, their hands together, and Pearl finally able to look into the eyes of the other and try to understand what was actually there. What Lapis couldn’t seem to completely give.

But also… Lapis was dancing.

Dancing.

With another gem.

Something Lapis had not done since she fused with Jasper.

Pearl’s concentration broke, and the surprise must have registered with Lapis.

Pearl looked up, because there was applause, and impressed words surrounding them.

“Guys, that was beautiful!” Connie practically had stars in her eyes. Steven didn’t seem to have words.

Garnet was smiling.

Amethyst shrugged, “It was alright.” But she had been clapping. Peridot held onto her and was staring from behind her purple mane. Pearl couldn’t tell if Peridot was confused, impressed, or just amazed at herself for being on the ice.

“Oh, ahahaha, um. Thank you?” Pearl looked back at Lapis and smiled. 

Lapis tried to smile, but it turned into creases that hinted impending tears.

“Lapis? Are you-”

But the other had pulled away, and nonchalantly skated off and ascended into the sky.

“Meet you guys at the beach house.” She called out, almost already too far for anyone to understand what she had said.

“Oh.” Pearl stared at the water gem get smaller and smaller, until she was gone.

No one seemed to have noticed that Lapis was crying. Or, about to cry.

Not even Steven.

But he was still standing right next to Pearl, waiting.

Smiling.

Pearl’s expression was a labyrinth.

Steven wasn’t smiling anymore.

It was dark when they returned to the beach house. Pearl suggested they put up the tree. Greg managed to dim the lights in the loft, and the colored lights they strung around the tree glimmered. Amethyst stood over the tree from Steven’s room and dumped a box of tinsel over Peridot. She claimed that she had been aiming for the tree. Pearl had nearly lost all sense of being trying to clean up the strands of silver… whatever it was. She’d given up though, and from what she had picked up, she shoved into Amethyst’s hair. To Peridot’s great amusement.

But that of course backfired when Amethyst began whipping her mane all over, and soon the entire loft was covered in tinsel. And for some reason, glitter.

But Pearl had expected as much.

She went over to the kitchen, stirring some hot chocolate over the stove. Lapis was sitting alone by the window, something silvery and stringed in her arms. It looked like an instrument, but she held it so close that Pearl wasn’t sure. She had been watching her the whole night. Steven had come over and said a few things to her that Pearl couldn’t hear. At some point Greg had also said something to her, and Lapis laughed. But Pearl watched, when Lapis was left alone, that she wasn’t much in a social mood.

Pearl stared down at the hot chocolate. Then, she looked up at her family: 

Garnet reached all the high places around the tree, though Steven took queue from Amethyst, and from his room, lowered the cookie cat star on the top of the tree. The tree almost toppled over, but Greg caught it. He’d gotten himself stuck in the tree, however, and Connie and Peridot were trying to pull him out. Steven couldn’t stop apologizing. Amethyst’s solution to the whole things was to kick the tree. Garnet finally pulled him out of the branches, picked up the entire tree from the base, and watched without any concerned reaction as most of the ornaments fell and rolled around the floor.

“Oops.”

Pearl frowned, then couldn’t help but smile. Then frowned again when she realized the tinsel mess was still all over. She’d have to clean that up the next day. Or in the middle of the night. When everyone was finally asleep.

Also part of her family, though, was Lapis. Lapis who was presumably sulking at the window. Lapis, who had danced with someone for the first time in a long time, who had held on to Pearl with such familiarity and confidence, who was looking very much in need of… someone. And from how things had been turning out that day, from what Steven had told her earlier, that someone was probably Pearl. Whether Pearl wanted that someone to be her or not.

She sighed.

She wouldn’t ask.

She would just come over.

“Here.” Pearl had walked over with a mug of hot chocolate. A mountain of whipped cream was on top, and little blue snowflake sprinkles had been tossed over it. She held it out to Lapis, and sat opposite her against the window.

Lapis looked down at it, then at Pearl.

Pearl smiled unsurely. Then, warmly.

“Please?” She said.

Lapis had lowered her head, but in the moonlight falling through the window, her blue eyes gleamed in the shadows. She took the mug from Pearl and, the mystery object still held against her, took a drink.

When she looked up, her nose was painted in whipped topping.

“Thank you.” 

Pearl barely heard it.

“…your nose.”

“My- Oh,” Lap tried extending her tongue far enough to lick it away, but then gave up and almost wiped it with her sleeve, but Pearl almost palmed her in the face with a napkin.

“Sorry,” Pearl returned to her own space, “instinct… but really I can’t stand when you guys do that. Please don’t use your sleeves… or your hands… hrrrm…” Pearl sighed. Manners meant nothing to anyone in the house. Sometimes Steven. But only sometimes.

She realized Lapis hadn’t said anything about getting her nose squished. 

Pearl shook her head, apologizing again. She needed to get to the point.

“You know when we were ice skating earlier, I really had a very lovely time. I don’t get to do that kind of thing very often. Thank you.”

Lapis took another, more careful sip of her hot chocolate, and then set it down on the window sill.

“You make good everything. It really, really bothers me that you don’t eat any of it. Or even try it… I’ve never seen you try anything. How does it turn out so well if you don’t even taste it?”

Pearl shrugged. She wasn’t sure either.

“I’m really thorough when I learn something. I try.” Inside, she was beaming. Though it was a little silly. But Lapis was being sincere. If not avoiding Pearl’s attempts at talking about the dance. And other things.

“You certainly are. You’re different. But the same.” 

_Again. Something I don’t know. Or something I do. How am I different and the same?_

“You’ve been talking to me like-”

Lapis interrupted by letting go of what she had held so tightly to, and handed it over to Pearl.

It was a harp.

“Uh... um,” Pearl examined it, “this looks like it’s from _home_.”

“You know how to play it.” Lapis loosened a bit, and moved slightly closer to Pearl.

“I do? But this, it looks older than me, “ Pearl laughed a bit, “but actually, yes. I can play it. It doesn’t seem much different from any other harp I’ve played.”

Pearl was a fan of strings.

Lapis, Pearl thought, was now smiling.

Pearl, in that moment, had figured something out.

“We knew each other, didn’t we? Before you were in the mirror. Before the war.”

“Before Rose Quartz.”

“Before Rose?”

“Before you can even remember. In another time.”

Pearl was quiet for a long while. She looked down at the harp, then back at Lapis. She had one more question. Well, not one more. In fact, she had so many questions her head spun a little. But she had to know immediately the answer to this one.

“Did Rose know about this?”

Lapis didn’t hesitate when she answered yes.

Lapis curled up into herself, hugging her knees.

“I didn’t want to say anything. Forgetting takes so long. For you it wasn’t a matter of that. It was an accident. But I think what she tried to do, was keep things together. I guess in the best way she could… this has nothing to do with why I was in the mirror in the first place. At least, not directly. That was my fault. But anyway… I couldn’t- I couldn’t just keep trying to forget when what I’m trying to forget is right in front of me.”

Pearl was confused. So utterly, uncomfortably confused. She hardly understood the words that were being spoken. What time was Lapis talking about? What _life_?

“Just keep this for a while,” Lapis put her hand over Pearl’s and the harp, “I don’t want to just tell you everything. That’s kind of unfair. Just play.”

“You can’t do that. You can’t just do that.” Pearl couldn’t get out what “that” referred to.

Lapis Lazuli looked into Pearl for a long time.

“I used to be so different.”

And then she leaned in, and she lightly placed her lips against Pearl’s gem.

It was a very polite kiss.

Pearl understood that the other was holding back.

Pearl’s blush must have turned her entire face blue. Her cheeks were warmer than the cup of cocoa, certainly.

“Just keep that, and play it. If you want, right now. It would be nice to hear it. If you don’t mind.” Lapis had settled back against her end of the window. She looked less troubled.

Life, no matter how long one lived, was always full of surprises.

Delightfully bizarre surprises.

“Ok.” And Pearl let her fingers thread through the harp strings, and played anything she had heard before that now reminded her of this moment. She played until the others had finally gone to sleep, Greg asleep on the couch and Steven and Connie nestled up in sleeping bags. Amethyst sprawled out under the tree, Peridot slumped over her and snoring loudly. Garnet had surveyed the end of the night, including Pearl and Lapis, and had gone to her room in the temple.

What other life she had was certainly important, but even more important, how things had turned out in the present. As for whatever reason, the two of them had re-converged.

Why or how, for this night didn’t matter. So Pearl played, and Lapis listened.

What else could she do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... I was watching Grand Prix ice skating last night with my niece (she had recorded it from the weekend before). I was in a total slump as in to how to continue the story, and then... hmm... ice skating... i will use this! So... yes. That is why there is ice skating. Man... I'm tired... Also, I have an ellipsis addiction.


End file.
